Once more with feeling

I sit here to write an update, I have been gone for a long while from this blog so presumably there would be a bit of catching up to do. I wonder if anyone even reads this anymore, I have not updated so I don’t blame them really.

I guess the most exciting thing I have to report is my holiday to Australia. Not major in the ‘saving the world’ scheme of things but major in the fact that I have never been overseas. Ever. I went to OZ fest – the travel expo a couple of weeks ago, walked in and it was overwhelming, this huge warehouse full with stalls, colour, sounds and amazing photos of everywhere in Australia. Flight centre was hosting it and had a few package deals, which were too good to pass up. I ended up booking 7 days on the gold coast for the end of july for my brother and I. I cannot wait. I am so excited.

When I went into the travel agent to pick up my ticket, I grabbed some brochures on trek America and Contiki tours around the states. I had planned on going to New Orleans for Mardi gra’s next year, but would have been going alone which is not very fun at all. So now I’m thinking about doing a trek america tour which lets me go to all different parts of the states, including New Orleans. There’s so many tours to choose from, its almost as overwhelming as the travel expo, but I’ve narrowed it down to the “Cross country” tour which is 21 days from LA to new York. Only thing now I have to do is save like there is no tomorrow. I’ve been pretty hermit – like over the past few months which is saving me a bit, and being at home (how annoying it is) is helping me save as well. My goal is to get to at least 10k before I go. That way if I have any left over after my trip that which be a bond on a flat or a start of my savings again. But it means being sort of antisocial sometimes

I did catch up with a few friends from high school last weekend. Victoria had her 23rd birthday, which was good. Felt a bit weird being there on my own as she has so many new friends that I don’t really know. Saw a couple of people from my first farmer’s job, which was a giant pile of awkwardness.

I caught up with Ray and Sam the next night for dinner. We had a meal at loan star, and caught up. It’s amazing how many things can go by in the few months you don’t’ see someone. Sam and her boyfriend are moving to Japan at he end of the year to teach English over there. And Ray has got himself a shiny new Holden with a cream leather interior. It felt very fancy being driven to dinner in his new wheels.

Caught up with Amie last night, was nice having a girl chat. We’ve started going to a new bar in new Lynn once a fortnight or so for a drink after work. Tried their tapa’s last night, which were overpriced but very Very yummy

Catching up with Immy tonight, which should be good, too as I haven’t seen her for a while and without facebook am kind of out of the loop on stuff… but now it is sushi – lunch time. Nom nom nom!

title is the Buffy episode i was watching last night, of which the songs are stuck in my head!

Fudge (the purple kind)

I will not write long, even though i haven't posted for months.
cliff notes - Xmas and new year came and went like they do every year. it is now 2009 and I’m 23. i doesn't feel any different to 22. I had a lovely quite shindig at my new dwellings. *much love to those who attended* and received (amongst other things) a zombie haiku book, a book on death (the sexiest version) and massage oil.

I got accepted into the course and finished paying off my first disaster at studying student loan. then i discovered that i overpaid on my hp of my laptop. so i am *pause for dramatic effect* Debt free! *does a little happy dance* so thus i have decided not to get another student loan and to save and go travelling. I want to see the world, but i think i'll start with either the states or Europe. this time next year i want to be sipping mulled wine in a snow surrounded pub somewhere.

Despite saying I’m saving (and i am..) i have spend obscene amounts of money on my hair in the last 3 or so week. it is now shoulder length with layers, and half of it is purple. not the deep fudge purple like i wanted but sort of the pale half ripe passion fruit purple. but by the 14th of feb it will be the colour of fudge. the purple kind. Fudge for the record is not the sweet mouth-watering smooth candy but the hair dye brand.

I'm living a remarkably lonely life at the moment, and i don't mind tooo much. it saves me moo-la. my DVD collection has increased to include all 7 series of Buffy and a new George zombie movie. mmmm brains.

I'm going to be learning how to save lives for the next two days. I’m looking forward to it. hope i don't have to bleed for the cause. but having st john first aid knowledge up my sleeve has got to be good... to show on the CV and the like.

Anyways must work. i have documents to edit and covers for induction workbooks to design

X's and O's
Ness

Song lyrics

It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now, seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine
one day Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late; just as well

And I’m not scared now.
I must assure you, you’re never gonna get away
And I’m not scared now.
And I’m not scared now. No…

I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine
one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I am prepared now, seems everything’s gonna be fine for me
For me; for myself.
For me, for me, for myself
For me, for me, for myself

This song has made me shed tears more than once in my life. most recently hearing it live coming from Shaun’s lips. But it’s been stuck in the back of my head ever since, running around over and over again, like a hamster on speed.

It seems like every day’s the same - wake up. Work. Think how much I hate work. Go home. Eat. Shower. Sleep. Wake up. Repeat

It seems like everything is gray and there’s no colour to behold - I want to know the exact moment i realised that we are all destined to die. Morbid and pathetically emo as it sounds its true. We exist. We work to keep ourselves and others existing. we reproduce. We die. Sure some of us may do great things and change little pieces of the world. Some of us may be here to witness those things, but in 10,000 years from now are they going to remember. In our next life, are they going to matter?

Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here - I’m not an alcoholic but there is times (and not 6pm with the evening meal) that I could really use a drink. Or something stronger

And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine - I suppose, these feelings too shall pass

One day
Too late
I’m in hell.